So....relationships huh.....tell me about it. One moment everything is all fun and laughter, and the next, a storm begins to brew. Yes!! you guessed it....Ive decided to talk about love and relationships on todays blog.
Now, I do not presume to be an expert on the issue and I'm certainly not a self-proclaimed love doctor, but I do know a thing or two about being in a relationship. Unlike most cheesy love quotes you may have heard or read that say stuff like "being with you makes me want to spread my wings and fly" or "love is you + me" or even "you're the only sugar in my tea". Wow! How do people come up with these stuff...its hilarious. Sorry, I'm a romantic, but most importantly I'm a realist. I mean how do you deal with a person who doesn't see things your way. Who is so ego-centric, that they cannot be faulted. Who tends to say stuff even when he/she knows it hurts. Don't get me wrong the romance might be great and under the sheets even more so, but you just know that something is seriously missing/lacking in the communication department of your relationship.
Okay, so you guys make rules for yourselves. Im not talking about "wash the dishes after you're done eating", or "put a coaster on the table before you drop the cup"(those are good too though). But no, I'm talking about rules such as; "No walking out on each other during or after an argument" "No sleeping in separate corners of the house, "Every issue must be trashed out on the same day", "No going to bed angry at each other".......oh! and my all time favourite, "Don't bring up past issues in present arguments". Now, you find that these sparingly work, and yet there's still something wrong, so you turn to the bible. You read "love is patient", "love is kind", "love is not envious".....and my favourite, "love does not keep record of wrongs", which if you think about it, is pretty similar to the last rule you made for yourselves. Its all good and fine in theory, but how do you love someone so much one moment, and trust me you want to strangle them the next? And if you notice, things hurt even more when they are said to you by someone you truly love.
But I've realised that you can find solace in two words "Constructive Criticism".... not the words you were hoping to hear huh?....but let me explain. Now some people take criticism well, others just don't. And how does an argument ensue/start? Its usually from criticism. You disagree with something the other person did or said. The person feels be-littled or hurt, and becomes defensive. One word turns into two, and before you know it a hurricane has passed through your living room. However, constructive criticism is like a bridle. It keeps a leash on what and how you say something to your partner, lover or friend. It starts with a positive pre-amble of the persons strengths and then you can highlight the fault with your recommendations in such a way that it makes the other person think more about what you said, rather than how you said it. Its all about making yourself better first before you can help another.
Every relationship has its ups and downs (trust me...I know). Therefore ladies and gents, don't worry when your significant other argues with you, worry when they stop, because it means there is nothing left to fight for. You need to love so hard that you love even when it hurts.....but ultimately, LOVE YOURSELF!!
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